Oh what Freedom

Oh what freedom cancer has given me.
I read somewhere that dogs live in the NOW. They don't worry about the future. They don't feel anger or regret about yesterday. All that is for a dog is NOW. There is great freedom in that, I have found. Although I have not mastered this as completely as the average canine, I do live in the Now so much more that I did before cancer. When a cancer diagnosis robs you of the certainty of future, what is left? What's left is Now. The very next question upon realizing this is, 'What should I/can I do with NOW? My search for the answer was an immediate Live Now, Love Now, Laugh Now and Be my most genuine self NOW. I fell into this mode so completely and immediately after diagnosis. The result was the most genuine sense of joy I've ever experienced. In the middle of my greatest trauma I found my deepest sense of happiness.
I can't remember what it is to live the other way. I'm flying by the seat of my pants these days and living in the Now. Not so much has changed in the choices I make for each day. What has changed so dramatically is my perspective....my experience of those choices.
I feel like it took half a century to finally "get it". Cancer got me to that point. Surviving it will not allow me to turn the page back to "before".